Rose, Textile Enemy No. 1

My boys are 5 and 6, and long ago, I declared them the enemies of textiles everywhere. My older son is rough on clothes; it takes about three weeks of his abuse before a new pair of pants presents with a hole in the knee. My younger son is sensory-seeking, so if he doesn’t have something his occupational therapist has deemed acceptable to chew on, he makes do with what’s at hand—like, his shirt cuff or the corner of a pillow. The damage is seen elsewhere in my house: I’ve found the telltale signs of a little nose having been wiped on my couch or an indication that someone was chewing recreationally on the tie to my bathrobe. Recently, when I noticed that my younger son brushed his curtains instead of his teeth one night (it was hard to miss the big, white toothpaste mark on the chocolate-brown fabric), I thought things couldn’t get worse.

And then we got Rose.

Rose is 10 weeks old and 100% puppy. She’s not our first golden retriever, but she is the mouthiest and she loves fabrics. Dishtowels left hanging on the oven door, socks the boys dropped on the floor, my Pottery Barn throw pillows—none of these items escapes her tiny puppy teeth. This, however, was the final straw ...

I should note that I did not reprimand Rose after the fact (there’s no point unless I catch her in the act), but I did give my husband, who took multiple pictures before saving that quilt from Rose’s puppy jaws, a stern talking-to.

I could regale you with other stories of sweet, at times naughty, Rose—stories like Rose vs. Michelle’s Birkenstocks (Rose won) and Rose vs. the Irrigation System (the sprinklers won) and Rose’s Adventures Outside (she doesn’t like simply being in nature; she tries to ingest it). I think these pictures say it all, though ...

Hmmm ... what mayhem can I cook up next?

Mom will never notice!

Being a puppy is hard work. I take a nap wherever I can, even on the vet’s exam table.

Mom, could this face lie to you?

My husband has grand plans for Rose and From Bolt to Beauty. He thinks she’s a great marketing ploy. What’s better than quilts? Quilts and puppies! We’ll have to see about that.